This has turned into my place to process lately. I know not all of you want to read this stuff, so if that's you (Mom) you should probably stop reading now. :)
Just left my last Tuesday night bible study at Coffee Plantation. Three and a half years running with these ladies. I told Karie on my way there that my heart has been hurting all day. Like for real hurting... I have to keep taking big deep breaths. I think it's fair to say it's breaking.
I keep wondering if I'll have a chance to tell this community (MMCC) just what it means to me. I tried to close our group in prayer tonight and got two words into it. Jenn took over. I can't even get the words out of my throat.
I came to MMCC after a fairly painful experience at another church. This was pre-Jared. I knew Alexandra attended with her friends so I came with her. I know so many of you have experienced the love and the welcoming arms of MMCC. There's nothing more refreshing and beautiful. THEN... I met my Jared and his family. MMCC introduced me (again) to that hot freshman guy.... luckily freshman in college this time around. Then there was Crash. The young adults group that kept me sane while I dated Jared long distance for two years. This church practically threw our wedding and helped us start our lives together. This church has helped us raise our children. I've spent pretty much every Tuesday night with amazing women. This church has some of our best friends in the world. This church has our amazing mentors. This church has my family.
Tonight we were concluding our latest study ("Lost Women of the Bible"- good read :)). We all shared what has been meaningful to us through this study. I asked Sarah to read one of my favorite parts tonight 'cause I couldn't get it out.
"Hannah reminded herself that God was in control over the events that were breaking her heart, that he was at work in her pain to draw her closer and make her strong, and that he was holding her tightly and was not about to let her go."
Ugh.
I think of how MMCC started. So similar to what we're about to embark on. I pray that this new church brings the same community to the people in Frisco, and to us again. We have such an amazing model.
After I dropped off Karie, "Dare you to Move" came on by Switchfoot. Jared listened to this song the summer we started hanging out. Said God was daring him to pursue me. :) (He liked me.) At first the song was so comforting... knowing that even though we're leaving so much greatness, we're leaving it TOGETHER. I have my best friend with me every step of the way. I'm not doing this alone. I'm so thankful for him. Then the song turned back into a challenge...
"...The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
I dare you to move..."
God's good at making sure I'm looking forward.
He knows what I need, when I need it.
God is good.
All the time.
